Who's Your Favorite Little Rascal?...
Is it Alphalfa or is it Spanky?...
From the healthy, Norton virus protected notebook of your commish.
Tuesday October 21st,
2003 3:36 PM
Rambling after week 7....
Back again....Although my teams keep losing, I keep typing. I'm heading back to the roots of this column....movie quotes.
So week 7 has now come and gone and the leaders are starting to break from the pack (no pun intended there Ciskie).
Many questions arise at this point in the NFL season....
- Are the Vikings and Chiefs going to meet at 14-0 on December 20th down at the Dome?
- Who will win the next game in Detroit....the Lions or Tigers?
- How can Baltimore, New England and Dallas be division leaders at this point?
- Who has scored less points this year...Chicago, Detroit, Cinci or Philly? (McSUCK)
- How scared are Broncos fans these days?
- How scared are Tampa's fans these days?
"What's your name, Scumbag?" - Full Metal Jacket
Um...it's Kittner sir, Kurt Kittner. You know, um, your third QB that just went 9-29 against the, um, Saints.
"See! The Cliffs of Insanity!" - The Princess Bride
Actually those are just the hills of Oakland, but insanity is just over the horizon.
"Remember the people who brought you Korea! That's right! The Army. If it's being done correctly here or abroad, it's
probably NOT being done by the Army." - Good Morning Vietnam
Just replace "Army" with "Detroit Lions" and "Korea" with the location of this weeks Lions game.
"Uh-oh! Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays!" - Office Space
If Jim Fassel worked out of a cubicle, he would definitely have the "mondays". Ugly team, ugly game, ugly opponent, ugly loss and now probably another November/December on the hot seat for the guy whose wardrobe for gameday came from the
Fred Rogers collection purchased at the estate sale.
"My father was a mechanic. His father was a mechanic. My mother's father was a mechanic. My 3 brothers are mechanics. Four uncles on my father's side are mechanics." -
My Cousin Vinny
Yea, and they are all really, really happy Tennessee fans after demolishing Carolina.
"I'm telling you..that man does not look stable." - Men in Black
Take your pick....Gannon, McNabb, Collins, Favre, Couch, Gruden, Mariucci.....
"And why mess up a good thing? And that's that." - Casino
This is my argument as to why Michael Bennett should be put on the IR for the year, heal fully for next year, and not be allowed to come back and screw up the chemistry the Vikes have thus far.
"Why don't you give me half the money you were going to bet, then we'll go out back, I'll kick you in the nuts and we'll call it a day!" -
Vegas Vacation
Many of you have heard me say this one....why didn't someone ask me this before I drafted McSuck in two leagues?
"Eighteen seventy-nine. The Civil War is over, and the resulting economic explosion spurs the great migration West. Tombstone becomes queen of the boom towns, where the latest Paris fashions are sold from the backs of wagons. Attracted to this atmosphere of greed over one hundred exiled Texas outlaws band together to form the ruthless gang recognized by red sashes they wear. They emerge as the earliest example of organized crime in America. They call themselves...
the Cowboys. - Tombstone
Two thousand ought-three. The Iraqi war is over (depending on who you believe), the sure to come economic explosion spurs the great migration north (at least from Mexico). Dallas becomes the star of the NFL's first half where last year's crappy QB is today's early season surprise. Led by the one they call
"The Tuna", they emerge as this season's example of crime by stealing the early lead in the NFC East. My guess is that the Cowboys of Dallas will see a similar fate as the Cowboys of Tombstone late this year.
"Yeah, well, I'm 94 years old! What the hell do I care, huh?" - Grumpy Old Men
Every week I have to....Gannon/Rice/Timmy Brown.
Is there any coincidence that the Bengals are 2-1 since the Siegfreid and Roy situation down in Vegas?
Some BIGFFBL observations...
Nookie has opened up a 3 game lead in the Husky Division. Almost an insurmountable lead (please someone point out how I either spelled that wrong or used it incorrectly).
Juice keeps pace with the LB as those two will battle to the finish for the Bulldog crown.
The Bison Division deserves no comments other than all you need to know is the top drafted QB for each team is McNabb, Gannon, Plummer and Favre.
Gentlemen, we suck.
Predictions...
LB's, Nookie, Mike (yea that's right) and Juice will be battling for the BIGFFBL Terry Egerdahl Memorial Trophy come December.
Air JC, Wong and Smitty will be battling for the 2003 Golden Crapper come December.
Mid (Fantasy) Season Picks...
Coach of the year - Team Nookie. Drafting from the bottom, still came out solid.
Rookie of the year - No question...Anquan Boldin. *Note to self...Way to go in passing him up.
All Pro QB - McNair. If you don't agree you are a damn fool.
All Pro RB - Priest/Portis. Disagree if you'd like here, but Nookie's boys from '02 are looking good
All Pro WR - Moss/Harrison. These guys are amazing. Truly amazing.
All Pro TE - no one deserves any votes. I don't think you can disagree with this either
All Pro K - who cares.
All Pro D/ST - tough call....last year would have been Minn no question, but with "/ST" on there
KC has to be considered
Well, no Wong this week and I'm hungry and out of ideas....
And now it's Wednesday morning and Wong has checked in.....
Here's my comments --- you know the drill by now
Correction (claification): Last week's comments listed Jason Varitek as a
former Twin. Varitek was drafted by the Twins in 1993. However, he
did not
sign with the team. --- Ahh, thanks for clearing that up. Apparently
the Twins are good at scouting out the catching talent. (Varitek, A.J.,
Mauer) Maybe they should focus more on guys that will hit more than 25
homers in a year.
I guess the Red Sox and Cubs got the double whammy, both the SI Jinx and
their respective Curses. So what caused that brain lock in both Grady
Little's and Dusty Baker's minds that made them forget that they could use
to bullpen to protect a lead in the 8th inning? And have you seen anyone
do
the Bartman recently? --- The simple reason is due to the fact that they must
have two of the most obscure first names in this country. And, although I
do not see the parallel here, I have not seen anyone do the Bartman since
probably around the time of the Monica and Bill scandal.
With the Vikings win over Denver last Sunday, Mike Tice and crew have a
current 9-game winning streak since the end of last season. Did the the
'98
team ever win 9 in a row? --- I don't think so, but let's hold the comparison
to '98 until once the current model gets to 15-1.
Being in DC you see many license plates depicting some state mottos. Here
are some state mottos that could be used in my mind. --- Alrighty....
New Hampshire: Live Free or Die! (this is actually on their license plate,
so don't change anything) --- Haven't they joined up with Vermont yet?
Seriously, can anyone who is not a social studies major name two cities in New
Hampshire? I didn't think so.
Nevada: Whores and Poker --- No, you have it all wrong...."Poker and
Whores"
Michigan: First Line of Defense Against the Canadians (Okay, the Governor is
a Canuck, so you now know our border security situation pretty clearly here) ---
Sadly, very accurate. I believe Michigan could put up a fight against
the fiesty Canucks but even more sadly is that the actual first line of defense
is all the Yoopers up here and that scares me.
Wisconsin: Eat Cheese or Die! (no explaination necessary) --- I agree.
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn (including using our tax dollars to
subsidize it) --- I don't want to know what those farmers do down
there. That's their business.
Minnesota: Land of 10,000 Lakes and a Whole Lot More Mosquitoes --- I wonder
what is bigger....the federal deficit or the number of mosquitoes in the great
state?
That's all for now.
Need I say more?
BIGFFBL senior writer Jeremy Carlson (TEQ) sounds off whenever he feels like it
on www.bigffbl.com