Air JC RB L. Gordon expresses concern over coaching tactics

Shaun Alexander showed why he was a keeper pick in week one, but his practice performance prior to week two so much disappointed owner, that he was kept out of the lineup altogether.

Teammate Lamar Gordon said, "Coach J really knew how those hurricanes would piss us off, never mind that we weren't even in Miami the whole week." Gordon was also quoted saying, "Obviously I was the right guy for the job last week, I mean it takes a whole lot more than a stud runningback to get by the Bangles. I don't know what else to say, we kept the Bungles to under a buck fifty in the air and under a buck on the ground, so for that I take all the credit. It's too bad the media doesn't always see it as clearly as I do. If Alexander get's my job back next week, it's clearly got to do with Coach J and his BS politics."

Seriously, an allegation that Coach Carlson is playing politics with his NFL players? "Coach Carlson's agent, Leslie Barta, issued the following statement, "The Air JC organization is one of highest integrity, and while Coach may play politics with his women, he finds it unacceptable for a player to be accusing him of wrongful operations within the team. At this time, Coach Carlson refuses to announce Gordon's punishment." An unnamed source from the team says that not only will Gordon not be in the starting lineup for week three, the coach may use him as trade bait to help lure a quality backup quarterback to the team.

Gordon commented, "That's bullshit, man. Coach worked his ass off to acquire me from the free agent pool. If he wanted a quarterback, he shouldn't have been coming on to me the way he did."

Across the locker room, teammate and fellow runningback Shaun Alexander had a different take on it all, "Hey, this ain't my fault, it ain't brotha Lamar's fault, this is all the media's fault. I mean, look at us, we're just a mediocre 500 club trying to do our jobs. Get your camera hauling asses across town where my Asian brotha Ichiro is about to make some real news. You media pricks really know how to piss a brotha off!"

The team may be in some real trouble this week as Lamar may fake an ankle roll early in pregame so he can get a head start to the Steak Escape at the mall. Gordon said, "Man, I can't wait to get to the 'scape on Sunday. Too bad we've got that stupid game to play."

Meanwhile, team veteran and leader Tom Brady has planned a last minute vacation to the badlands with his grandchildren and will not be available for this Sunday's game. Reached on his cell phone he had this to say, "First of all, all this cellular technology is too much for me. The badlands are a beautiful place. Don't worry, the office won't burn down without me. Everyone else gets five weeks vacation, why shouldn't I? Get off my ailing back already."

Still, the big question and concern out of Air JC camp remains the questionable coaching tactics of Coach Carlson. Gordon commented again, saying, "If Coach J is going to treat us like some kind of lower class brothas, dat coo, but me and my brotha Shaun-A are gonna go play on Team Juice with our brothas LT and C-Port, so we don't have to put up with it."

Teammate Alexander was somewhat in agreement saying, "Listen, he makes me and the L-Gore fight for our jobs week in and week out, and then he lets that Brady honky just slip on out to the Badlands. I'm not one to question J's tactics though. He knows how best to lead an interracial football team."

Alegations of racial impropriety by the Air JC organization as well as the questionable tactics Coach Carlson appears to be using are all starting to spell controversy. An unnamed Coach Carlson supporter said, "Listen, coach had a negro roommate in college. Sure, coach mistreated him to the point that he wouldn't come back, but it ain't like he got violent or anything."

In this writer's view, the Air JC organization needs to win big this week if it hopes to retain its star players and compete for a championship. However, it also remains clear that the coaching staff needs to get rid of their Jim Crow attitudes and stop playing politics with its players.
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The AP Wire is copyrighted by The Associated Press. www.ap.org (c) 2004