Boondoggle Cabooki System....
aka...The BCS...
From the healthy, Norton virus protected notebook of your commish.
Tuesday December 9th,
2003 2:02 PM
Rambling after week 14...
How about them Vikes? Gotta love seeing them treat little Matty Hasselbeck and The Walrus like they were still Cheeseheads.
I needed a topic this week and Juice had a dandy....the BCS. I'll put out my thoughts on it sprinkled throughout the following BS. So to summarize what I am going to talk about...I'll sprinkle BS about the BCS throughout the following BS. Clear enough?
First off....congrats to Jonny C. for wrapping up the #1 seed in the BIGFFBL. Juice and Jugs are hot on his heels with Nookie's combo of Portis and Lewis also appearing in the postseason.
Predictions....Juice will take down Jugsie while Nookie (aka Portis) will take down the top seed. It'll be an all U-dubs final with the Terry Egerdahl Memorial Trophy up for grabs.
So to the BCS. I am a believer in the computer and NOT in a bunch of old fat white guys who "earn" thier paychecks as "journalists". I think the final should be LSU and OU.
Back to some more FFB. Controversy is running rampant in the F**kers League. Ok, maybe not controvery, but some crazy stuff. Heggen comes from behind in the battle of the NBC employees to beat Clinton Portis...I mean Walker...111-110. Kern's Hos lead by MVP McNair and the Priest walks over The Laniacs while Juice's combo of LT and Rookie of the Year Anquan Boldin steps up to move on to the semifinals. The final matchup was Naked Bootleg and Faulk 'N Neva. I will not comment on this game yet cause maybe sportsline will attempt to change the points once again. But as of the time this issue went to press, JC picked up his second amazing Tuesday morning victory in a row in the battle of Commishes.
Someone better tell Portis to watch out so he doesn't get hit in the back of the head with a folding chair, or get a handfull of sand in the eyes, or smacked in the face with a 2 by 4, or....if you saw the end of the game on Sunday afternoon, you get the idea.
Next on the BCS....let's say that all the teams involved (LSU, Oklahoma and USC) lost their very first game of the year instead of the ways in which they did lose. How would it shake out by the AP and coaches? Hard to say, but all else held equal, the computer would come out the exact same every time. No bias. No stupid justification as to why someone gets the first place vote. Just pure analysis. That is reason number 2 why I'm for the BCS.
Another congratulations goes out to Mr. Suomala who clinched a golden toilet to go along with his 1998 coach of the year in the old trophy case. The answer is yes, I believe that you have hit rock bottom and will now be on the way back up.
Vegas mistake of the week -- I know the Lions were playing at home against a team that has an old dude tossing the rock, but Vegas must have forgot that one of the guys catching it is LT. (He will no longer be 'LT2' in this column because 1) I never really saw LT1 play and 2) This guy is pretty damn good.)
Wouldn't you like to see a good pro-am football game, kinda similar to what golf does? I can only imagine the score of an Arizona Cardinals/LSU Tigers game.
So Travis Henry runs for a buck sixty-nine on his broken leg. I think we need to begin to redefine the term 'broken'.
Again with the BCS....Let's play role reversal (like last week, keep your mind out of the gutter please). What if USC had been in Oklahoma's position? My guess is that the Sooner state would have been much quieter than the rabid liberals that reside in So-Cal.
Let's shift to some current events....don't worry Ben, it'll only be a couple sentences....ahh, who am I kidding, Ben lost interest in reading this about 10 seconds in.
Today the DOW tops 10,000 for the first time in, well, a long long time. Republicans will try to take credit and Democrats will try to tell us that something is wrong with the market going up. Politics are a funny game played by even goofier individuals.
Also today, Mr. (and I use the 'Mr.' loosely) "Fat" Albert Gore endorsed the campaign of Howard Dean. Hopefully the Dean campaign will be able to recover from this stunning blow.
Finally from today's news..."Ozzy Osbourne seriously injuried in ATV accident". Now, I can not imagine him being able to either speak enough coherent sentences to purchase an ATV much less him putting together enough hand eye coordination to get the thing moving, but he does have a lot of free time so once he did get it moving I can definitely see how he could seriously injure himself.
Finally with the BCS, since I'm in the "news" section of the ramblings, let's put a different quantatative spin on this. Which state more deserves this honor of playing for the title? Well, let's go on intelligence. California's governor is Arnold. Oklahoma's governor is.....exactly. That in itself is enough to knock the California teams down about 3 spots (note that with Jesse as gov in MN, Mason never got 'em to a real bowl game).
I'd like to end with a coulple of serious notes. First, prayers are in order for the family of the abducted woman near the North Dakota/Minnesota border. Second, it's sad to hear that Sar has passed. My greatest memory of him was back in 9th grade track when he told us to head down to the whore house to do some laps. I was confused until I figured out he said "ore house". I would like to think that he's got JFK, Chris Farley and Jesus himself doing some strides up there right now.
Wonger last week said he's done for the year, so I'll end it here.
Next week the BIG Playoffs start and the F**kers continue...good luck to all who made it that far.
Need I say more?
BIGFFBL senior writer Jeremy Carlson (TEQ) sounds off whenever he feels like it
on www.bigffbl.com