Yep, enjoy it you somewhat captive audience...

From the healthy, Norton virus protected notebook of your commish.  Tuesday December 4th, 2007 4:40 PM

Rambling after Week 13...

Starting out appropriately....(at least if you were/are in Duluth this week at all and/or are Scandahoovian at all)

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee, listening to the weather report coming over the radio.  "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared," the weather report said. "You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets."  Ole says "Jeez, okay," and gets up from his coffee.  The next day they're sitting down with their morning cups of coffee and the weather forecast declares "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets."  Again, Ole says "Jeez, okay," and gets up from his coffee.  Two days later, again they're sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast says, "There will be 6 to 9 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the - "  Just then the power goes out and Ole doesn't get the rest of the instructions.  He turns to Lena and says "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?"  Lena replies "Aw, Ole, why don't you just leave the car in the garage today?"

Back to reality this week after a long weekend in Vegas.  Juice and I headed out to visit the Cushmans and run a half marathon.  A pictorial summary of what we saw over the weekend includes...

Eight photos....I would imagine explanations would be necessary for some of these.  Start at the upper left and move along like if you were reading.  Well, not if you were reading Chinese - although I doubt that's an issue with my usual audience.

I think just like with the performers, Vegas attracts only the best and most creative out there.  The homeless are no exception.  Saw one guy with the above 'karate' sign...do I really think he'd use the money for karate lessons?  No, not at all, but I am wondering is if he is one of those striking Hollywood writers.

Next up was the rental car experience at Las Vegas.  Juice's quote, "I'd like to buy stock in the McCarran rental facility."  Hard to disagree (although I doubt they're traded on the NYSE) after seeing the rental car food court.  You take a free shuttle from the airport to the McCarran rental facility to pick up your car - it's just like a food court, walk in a have all the different rental companies under one roof.  Excellent way to do it.  Grab your car - in our case a just about brand new loaded Pontiac G6 GT (replacement for the Grand Am) - and go.  Bring it back, they scan a bar code on the windshield, and in 20 seconds you're off.  Excellent.

Numero tres....we somehow both look happy after the long run on Sunday morning.  Was a little chilly when the half marathon started, a crisp 37 or so.  With 15,000 people running, it was easy to pick out the northerners - Juice and I in our cutoff shirts and shorts were the exception, not the norm in this one.  We both ran well, just about the same as we did in Grandma's this past summer.  Afterwords we kept the post race picture tradition going Vegas-style with a showgirl joining us.  She was pretty much freezing at that point (and it was up in the 50's by then - not a northerner).

Probably the most explanation needed for number four - our friend Ed that we stayed with works at the Las Vegas Hilton in sound and lights.  We got into town, picked up the G6 and went to see him at work.  He had some show tickets for us for some music/comedy at 9:30, but also knew a guy that got us into Manilow at 8:00 - 3rd row seats in the center.  Interesting to say the least - I know a few of his songs, but had no clue what kind of show we'd see.  To tell the truth, I spent most of the time focused on one of his backup singers/dancers, but hey, nothing like going to a concert with a bunch of AARP'ers enjoying the music of their time.  I'd compare it to our generation seeing Timberlake in 30 years - he still might be able to sing, but it just wouldn't seem right.

If you're heading to Vegas, you must eat at Battista's.  Just east of Bill's Casino and north of Bally's on Flamingo is one of the best Italian places I've been to.  Great atmosphere, food and drink for sure.  Menus are on the wall, all you can drink red or white house wine is included, bread, salad and cappuccino plus your main dish for one price.  Unless you're going in to eat dinner early with the senior citizen crowd (which is easy to do when you ran 13+ miles earlier that day), I suggest you make reservations.

The big red rock in the next picture is from Valley of Fire state park about 45 minutes north of Vegas.  The Valley of Fire derives its name from red sandstone formations, formed from great shifting sand dunes during the age of dinosaurs, 150 million years ago. Complex uplifting and faulting of the region, followed by extensive erosion, have created the present landscape.  (At least that's how their website describes it).  Cool cool place if you like to crawl around and climb up rocks and put yourself in harms way - probably a good thing we were running the next day so we were somewhat smart about what we tried to climb.  This is probably the best half-day road trip from the strip that I have found so far.

Next up is a picture of something that we didn't see.  Doesn't make sense....well, that's cause at this point of the race, it didn't make sense either.  This pic is borrowed from the internet somewhere else - probably last year's Vegas marathon.  The race starts with all the half and full marathoners together and then they split partway through.  This year, at the split, there were no signs.  There were plenty of people pointing and yelling, "half this way, full that way", but no signs.  I guess a couple people with lower IQs than your average spider monkey missed the turn and were extremely angry with the race officials.  Let's put it this way, if Juice and his deaf ears could find the right way, anyone could.  (Juice's theory was something to the effect of - the big people are turning left, I should be with them).

Finally....can't put together Vegas pics without a shot of the Fountains of Bellagio.  If you haven't seen them - get a taste at: http://www.wetdesign.com/client/bellagio/index.html - then get down there and see them in person for the full effect.

On to the NFL for a while....

How about those Vikings?  I'm not sure what to think, other than A.P. is possibly the best thing since Barry.  He's really amazing.  There's been some discussion on our message board that Tav might be just good enough for now to hold the starting job.  I'm not a believer.  I'm with Jugs in thinking that as long as the run game is rolling, he will look good.  When we have to come from behind (ahem, playoffs for example), in the wise words of our Fantasy Superior, "we will be screwed".  Put it this way, I see a lot more AJ Feeley than Tom Brady in Tav Jax.  Also, maybe the Vikes make the playoffs - they've won three fairly soft games in a row and have a cake schedule to close it out (@ SF, Chicago, Washington, @ Denver) - but I don't see them beating Green Bay or Dallas in any circumstance.  Seattle or Tampa would be tough also, just because I think we'd be outcoached by the walrus and chucky.  Who knows though - stranger things have happened.

Crazy endings for the Redskins and Ravens.  Joe Gibbs ends a tough week with a very very bad call.  I don't believe in icing the kicker anyway, but to call the 2nd timeout after being a head coach in the league for a LONG time is a kick in the teeth to that team.  Who knows, maybe he would have made the 52 yarder anyway, but 37 in the NFL is a gimme.  52, not so much.  A couple people mentioned to me this morning that the Ravens sure had a hard luck finish last night at home.  They played a great game - with U of Miami alumni.....
                   (alumni: 1. A former pupil or student of a school, college or university)
....sorry, just checking to make sure Ray Lewis, Ed Reed and Willis McGahee can be called alumni (I know Ray earned his degree, not sure on the others).  Anyway, they played a great game with Ray, Ed and Willis dedicating their play to Sean Taylor.  Did they get screwed in the end?  Does the NFL want the Patriots to go undefeated?  Here's my thoughts.  The Ravens Defense is based upon the "cheat until you get caught" or "find the line" theory of play.  Duluth Central used to do this in basketball all the time - they grab and hold and bump and push as much as they can and hope they don't get caught rather than move their feet and get in position.  In that last drive, I'd agree that the timeout called by Coach Ryan was a tough break, but otherwise, the defense themselves lost that game, not the officials for them.  A couple of defensive holds, pass interferences and then the most ridiculous of all, the 2 stupid penalties by #57 Bart Scott for essentially being a baby and the unnecessary off side on the extra point by Ed Reed cost the Ravens a chance to tie (or win) the game.  Gentlemen, the officials didn't steal the game away, you gave it to them.

On to the BIG for a while....

If it all ended today....(once again, just the regular season - not the world)

Bulldog - Little Bastards (9-4)....winning tiebreaker over Juice
Husky - Team Kinger (8-5)
Bison - Drunken Sailors (10-3)
Wildcard - Team Juice (9-4)

Golden Toilet - Flying Hellfish (2-11......winning? tiebreaker over Nookie)

Now, one week away, how do I see this closing out?  Well - starting in the middle - the Husky Division.  Kinger has it closed out and took the Husky Division.

So, on to the Bison.  Going into last week, Mike needed only 1 win or 1 Air JC loss to clinch the division.  He got them both.  Mike and the Drunken Sailors have won their first Bison Division Championship.

Up to the Bulldogs.  Juice and Jon are tied up with Jon holding the tiebreaker.  Juice will close out against Jonny's Team Tang.  The LB's get to go up against Suomala's Flying Hellfish.  I just don't see the LB's losing this week to the 'Fish.  Suomala has had some points, but it'll be hard to knock off the team with the 9 game 100+ streak.  To win the division, Juice will need a win and a LB loss.  Not impossible, but the easy road for Juice is to just get the win and be guaranteed at least the wildcard.  I hope for my sake he doesn't get it, but hey, if wishes and buts were candy and nuts.....Gotta stick with it, the Little Bastards win their 4th Bulldog Division Championship.

The wildcard is a little clearer now, but still not decided.  If Juice wins, it'll be either him or Jon with the wildcard.  If Juice loses and either JC or Jugs win, then it goes to the tiebreakers.  Currently, Jugs holds a nine game lead on JC and a 7 game lead on Juice for the tiebreaker, but it can make that much of a swing in one week.  Looking at the schedule, JC has Smith - Jugs has the wIZards, I expect Juice to make his 6th playoff appearance.

I suppose it's time to go out in the snow - I don't want to - but I also don't want to sleep at the office.

Need I say more?

BIGFFBL senior writer Jeremy Carlson sounds off whenever he feels like it on www.bigffbl.com