Pictures Are Better Than Words....Because some words are big and hard to understand...From the healthy, Norton virus protected notebook of your commish. Thurssday October 30th, 2008 7:35 PM Rambling after Week 8 (and a nice swedish pancake/Johnson's bakery cake dinner)... Stewie: I want pancakes!! You people understand every language except English! Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez-moi pancakes! Click-click-bloody-click pancakes!!! I know, I know.....I'm getting lazy. Ramblings on a Thursday?!?! You all might be wondering what the heck is going on.....well, no, it's not a girlfriend, not a new hobby, no, not even the once a month depression of seeing my retirement account statements. Just pure laziness. Conspiracy theorists can rest. Stewie: Oh damn! Jeremy is still in the trunk! How long has it been, two weeks? Yeah, he's dead. But hey - as they say, it's better to show up late than never, so here are your week 8 Ramblings. We'll go with a Family guy theme this week because I feel a little like Stewie with a dash of Brian mixed in there. Tom Tucker: And now time for Ollie
Williams with the Black-U-Weather Forecast. Ollie? The World Series is finally over and what a sad showing for "America's Past time" A rain delay in the deciding game? Really? Boy (and let the sarcasm drip here) I am sure happy we (and to be clear, "we" is defined as the taxpayers of the great state of Minnesota) are building a new outdoor stadium for our poor, distressed brother Carl Pohlad. I can't imagine planning one of my precious weekends off during the year to head down to a game with less than a 100% chance of seeing it due to weather. Prediction - eventually, April and May games at the new stadium will have significantly cheaper ticket prices than the June - October tickets. Also, if they do any kind of accounting on where the fans are coming from - I'd bet a lot fewer from the "outstate" (and man do I hate that term) will be eating the tcf-dogs. Lois: Where would he go? Football, yes, a good sport outside for Minnesota. Baseball, I'm skeptical. Cricket? Well.... Peter (watching Cricket on British TV):
What the hell is he talking about? Well, another week passes and it was another week without Brad Childress having to show up down at the unemployment office. Let's focus on the fact that I don't necessarily think he needs to be canned quite yet, but am a little surprised that it didn't happen over the bye week. It is refreshing to a point to see an owner not drop the guillotine at this point, refreshing but still a little surprising. I'm thinking he'll get a free pass with the Williams boys suspension looming and that as a nice crutch for Brad to hobble in with Tom Tucker: And now over to Ollie Williams
for the blackie punishment forecast, Ollie? At this point of the NFL season, which is pretty much half way, the cream is rising and the poo is falling. Speaking of #2, this week must be the annual Wargin family "spreading of the manure" celebration. With our current winds out of the south, the festive aroma of a year's worth of cow remnants have been enriching the air at Arrowhead Concrete. Pungent, burns the nostrils. Stewie: Hello, mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster. That makes me wonder a couple of things.... First, doesn't the EPA or the MPCA or someone regulate the stink in the air? Secondly, and this one might gross you out, but think of this.....when you walk by a newly baked loaf of bread, it has an aroma. Similarly, you drive by KFC or Super One and smell the slippery fried chicken. What exactly are you smelling? It has to be minute particles of bread and/or chicken that are somehow transferred into the air in high enough concentrations to be observed by the human nose. So you see where I'm going here......yuk. The elephant in the room is, what are your bugars made up of? Well..... And back on the train of sophistication and intelligence, that's right, we're moving to politics. Chris: What do you do at a Young
Republicans meeting? Apparently last night, Sec. Obama purchased 30 minutes of advertising on the major networks except for ABC. I had no idea until I saw the story this morning on CNN. I also read that Obama's campaign raised $150 million in September alone. That seems like such a ridiculous amount of money - and where does it come from? Even at $100 per donation, that is still 1.5 million people that particular month. I remember our generation being told as kids that you could grow up to be anything you want to be, even President. I sometimes wonder if that is even the case anymore. Peter: Guys, our money problems are over; we're officially on welfare! Come on, kids, help me scatter car parts on the front lawn. A week until the elections....I'm thinking that next week I might do a Ramblings during the evening election coverage. You're all invited to my house - we can have some pizza and popcorn and tasty beverages if you choose as we find out how Kansas votes and watch the determination of the free world's mouthpiece for the next 4 years. How about the BIGFFBL.....one quick shot about everyone this week Fat British Pigeons (7-1). Along with his Menard's league record, Smitty is at 13-3 this year. Not too bad a first half for one of our best fantasy performers year in and year out. Lois: Peter tell Chris that women are not
objects! Little Bastards (4-4). With a couple wins in a row, Westbrook back and WoJo next up on the schedule, little bro is looking pretty good going into the stretch run (but has some ground to make up if he wants to win the Bulldog. [Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a
bathroom stall] The Voluntary Donkeys (3-5) are not spectacular, but not too bad either. Not too far off track to finish 7-7 but then again, he hasn't done that since way back in 2003 (and 2002, 2001 and 2000). Peter: Don't worry Chris. Sometimes it's
good not to fit in. (Flashback to Veitnam) Team Lagos Barreros (3-5). Been a tough fantasy year for Juice. No 100+ yet and only one each in the 90's and 80's. He is on pace for 1,080. You'll be surprised to know that wouldn't even make the list of worst 5 single season point totals ever. Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can't swim! Kinger (7-1). Jack has had a rough couple of weeks after a stellar start. I'd say it's a temporary slide, but until Romo gets back, Witten will not be helping Jack much....but with a three game lead, he won't need much help. Stewie: Victory is mine! Tang (4-4) is holding on nicely in the wildcard hunt with AP and Portis leading the way. He only has two 100+ers but is still holding onto all three of his FA's. Those are nice chips to be holding at this time of the year. Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for? Nookie (2-6) is not having much luck with the QBs this year. Carson Palmer, Vince Young and Matt Cassell (and that's after dropping Kyle Boller). This pretty much shows that being at the draft is somewhat important. Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of
panties confiscated from a prostitute. The wIZards (1-7) are already sizing up their powder room for a brand new golden toilet. In fact, this just in, the Duluth News Tribune has endorsed Scottie Wojtysiak as their choice for receiver of the '08 golden toilet. Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A
local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call? The Flying Hellfish (5-3) are leading the most competitive division in the league this year. Suomala's three losses have come against teams that are 7-17 while his wins have come against teams that are 18-22. That tells me that Suomala has a tough schedule down the road Brian: Peter, did you read the fine print
on this loan contract? Air JC (5-3) has lots of QB depth, and lots of WR depth, but no RB depth. My fun fact - I'm on pace for a career best 1,556 points. Lois: I guarantee you a man made that
commercial. The Drunken Sailors (4-4) have had a 0.500 type season. First, Andre Johnson wasn't doing much, then Stephen Jackson wasn't doing much, now they both are doing well, then Jackson is hurt. Mike can't get the consistency and statistically is showing that with the largest variance in points thus far for the league (ohh....hold on, gotta push my glasses up a little after that one) Lois: You're drunk again. Finally.....our Fantasy Superior (3-5). Jugs is at 7-1 in the Menard's League (as am I - the three division leaders in that league, well, you guessed it -- JC, Jugs and Smith). On the BIG side of things - Jugs has started either Kitna, Orton or Bulger at QB this year. That is definitely enough said. My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did gagoogidy that girl. I gashmoygadied her gaflavity with my googus. And I am sorry. Hey, we are over halfway there......IF THE PLAYOFFS WERE TODAY-AY-AY-AY......
Good luck ya'll in week 9 (except for Jason and his Voluntary crew) And for this week's final word.... Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off. Need I say more? BIGFFBL senior writer Jeremy Carlson sounds off whenever he feels like it on www.bigffbl.com |