Not totally unlike the Onion's headline...
From the healthy, Norton virus protected notebook of your commish. Tuesday October 4th, 2005 5:32 PM
Rambling after week 4...
A headline modified from the Onion...."Minnesota Fans to Vikings - 'You All Suck'".
Ok, so that might not be totally fair. They don't ALL suck. Just the O-line, quarterback, linebackers and head coach. The rest are doing A-OK in my book.
Speaking of our bonehead head coach, I hope you all got to see the Fox NFL
Sunday pregame (da-da dun da-da daa, da-da dun da-da daa.....) show with
Jillian
and Frank Caliendo (and no there is nothing wrong if you were just humming that
tune in your head while imagining if it is possible for Jillian to look any
better on a Sunday morning). It's obvious why I enjoyed Jillian's portion
of the show - and it is quite amazing that only a couple years ago they had a
guy doing the weather - although I seriously didn't have any better clue about
the weather at the game sites after Jillian was done than I did before. As
for Frankie - he was hilarious - as usual. As he masterfully played Letterman and
Schaffer to a tee (at least as well as a short, pudgy guy from Milwaukee can),
he also managed to rip on Mike Tice, Joey Harrington, Matt Millen and the
Chicago Bears. Gotta love it.
Well anyways....for me, the NFL day was all downhill after Jillian left the screen. I decided to bench Stephen Jackson in favor of Freddy Taylor. Mistake. Lose by 2. But, I guess it worked out good for Jonny who picked up a big win to keep up with Nookie in the newly powerful Husky Division.
Yes, that's right, the powerful Husky Division. They're averaging 102.9
per game, that's 5+ and 10+ better than the Bison and Bulldog Boys respectively.
This week Rich, who
has returned to being the GOO, had 151 against the LB's. Kinda odd, but
Rich is led by his pro-bowl bound kicker, Neil Rackers - and, oh yea, those
'other' guys (Manning and Owens) helped out too. But that was only Rich's
first W. Wonger is sitting at 2-2, but is silently poised to strike at
Nookie and Jonny who lead the division at 3-1. Yea it's early, but the
Husky division looks to be a very tough battle all the way down the stretch this
year.
As Uncle Jimmy might say....'so what else is happening?' Well, its fun to type since those Bulldog boys always would give the rest of us crap, but boy do they suck this year. Yea, I know it is early still, but they're at 6-10 while the rest of us are at 18-14. In the JCS, Juice, Smitty and Jason all find themselves in the bottom 3rd of the overall W-L column, only ahead of the Drunken Sailors.
And
what about the Bison Division. Well, after week 4, the Flying Hellfish are
doing just that. Suomala, finally able to draft without the inconvenient
disturbances of weddings or births, was able to put together the only '05 BIG
squad to head into the first round of divisional play at 4-0. Nothing
under 89 for the 'Fish and nothing over 124. Not spectacular and not too
shabby either. Your Fantasy Superior pulls into divisional play at 3-1 on
a two game win streak. Jugs hasn't put up less than 93 points so far this
year.....now that is definitely the work of a Fantasy Superior. He'll
start of divisional play against the Drunken Sailors who have had a rough go of
it early on this season - holding the season low to this point of 47.
In honor of the good ole boy Frank Caliendo and the guys over at the Ed Sullivan, I shall now move on to tonight's (today's if you're reading early) top 10 list....
Top Ten Daunte Culpepper Excuses
10. "Those idiots at Popeye's forgot the wet-naps AGAIN."
9. "Would you believe the coach told me to do it?"
8. "I spent all day Saturday eating hot dogs with John Madden."
7. "What? That 'turnover' play is on the bottom of all my playbook sheets."
6. "Whoa? You mean low score doesn't win?"
5. "It's totally unfair, Michael Vick is too good."
4. "You try playing in that horrible Metrodome."
3. "I like to see myself on SportsCenter."
2. "I thought last week's calendar said, 'practice foosball'."
1. "Footballs is slippery."
Need I say more?
BIGFFBL senior writer Jeremy Carlson sounds off whenever he feels like it on www.bigffbl.com