Always get
married early in the morning....That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day...From the healthy, Norton virus protected notebook of your commish. Tuesday September 30th, 2008 9:40 PM Rambling after Week 4... Late start for the Ramblings this week (after 9....oh man we're getting old) so it might be a short one. We'll see....maybe I'll stay up late and hammer this one out - I don't have to get up until 5:45 tomorrow. Henny Youngman This late start is courtesy of our own Twinkies. I'll give Black(side)burn(s) credit for throwing a nice game out there and blame Gardy for a couple goofy moves. First - I know Nick was pitching well, but it's called tempting fate to think that guys like Dye and Thome won't figure him out by their third time around. You gotta go to the pen and make Thome hit lefty/lefty....Nick got you 6 solid out there, don't get greedy. Secondy - why pinch hit for Gomez in the ninth? He's one of your fastest players and would be the tying run. Instead throw Kubel in there to strike out (in Moe Sislak pug ugly fashion mind you)? Why not at least let Gomez square and drop one and make the obese pitcher field his position, bend over and throw a strike to first? I don't understand. But - now baseball season is over to me, so be it. “No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.” -H.L. Mencken And just in time....I'll barely have enough time to pay attention to football this weekend much less baseball too. Heading to Vegas to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith (and speaking of - nope, still haven't seen that movie) tie the old knot. Let's call it a monkey's fist knot. Never heard of it? Ahh good old Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkey%27s_fist). Should be a good weekend. Allegiant flights - night golf - dinner of dipping stuff in hot cheese - 70+ temps - fake beaches and waves - the fountains of bellagio - along with the homebase of Mandalay Bay. Best of all, 4 days away from my world of concrete, well, 3 full days anyway. Honore de Balzac (really? the guys last name seems to be pronounced as "ball's sack"? really?) Anyway - as you have no doubt figured out - this week's theme is a toast (or maybe a roast) for Eric and Melissa. Best of luck. *“Do you know what it means to come home at
night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little
tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.” Back to football. The Vikings are back to normal. Gus provided the one week bump - but the Tennessee Defense turned that train right round like a record. I'm pretty much no more confident of our team winning on the road with Gus rather than T-Jax. Now don't get me wrong - I'm much more confident at home with Gus - just not on the road. I'd say 8-8 would be a positive finish from what I've seen so far. I really, really, really.......really, really, really wish we had picked up Brett Favre somehow. I can also see very clearly why the Packers did not want him ending up playing for us or, god forbid, the Bears. Brett might not have much to throw to for us, but the D's would have to respect him and AP would have about 40 more yards per week on the ground.....no doubt. 6 TDs for Brett last week - amazing. I don't care how old you are - 6 TDs is impressive. Peyton (who was sitting at home last week on his bye) can only dream he'll be that good when he's an old (wanna be) gun slinger. Socrates How can I not use the Socrates wedding quote? Moving on to the BIG - another week, another win for Kinger. 21 100+ weeks in the BIG so far this year - Kinger and JC have combined for 8 of those. Add in the 3 the LB's have and 3 of the teams in the league have over half of the 100+ weeks. On the other side of the coin (which may be the warmer side of the pillow) are Juice and Nookie. Both have a couple weeks at 70 or less with Juice having all 4 at 79 and below. Not bad consistency for an air conditioner, but not good at all for a BIG squad. “It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.” -Robert Frost How about some fun facts at this point of the season from the Bureau of Miscellaneous Information (BMI) down in Topeka.... JC is averaging 44.2 more points per week than Juice (115.5 - 71.3) Poppycock has nothing to do with flowers and/or chickens. The Bison Division is the high scorer so far (95.4 average) The pizza cutter was originally designed to press pleat lines in khaki slacks. The Bulldogs (YES the Bulldogs) are on the bottom (91.8 average) Alex Trebek regularly formulates his restaurant orders in the form of questions. Only in 2005 did the Bulldogs fail to be the top scoring division at the end of the season. The Bison have never been the top scoring division in the BIG. Yesterday's stock market plunge was nothing compared to that of 248 BC when Stone Wheel Inc. dropped like a rock and caused Fred Flintstone's 401k to plummet. Jugs and the LB's opponents are averaging over 100 per week against them (100.8, 100.3) The only available highlighter colors in 1923 were "gray" and "dark gray". In week 3, Smith passed 15,000 career points in his 11th season....the first BIGFFBL owner to do so. Ironically, witches spend October 31st in their Easter dresses, baking ham dinner for their families. Kinger's 0.594 career winning percentage is the highest ever in BIG history. “My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.” -Unknown Hey, why not.....IF THE PLAYOFFS WERE TODAY-AY-AY-AY......
Anywho, good luck all in week 5 as we roll into the first round of our divisional matchups (except for the Flying Hellfish and the rest of the Bison of course). And for this week's final word....we go to the late, great Henry Youngman.... "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." Need I say more? BIGFFBL senior writer Jeremy Carlson sounds off whenever he feels like it on www.bigffbl.com |