Living The Dream...

Life is good after grabbing a BIGFFBL "W"...

Rambling after week 4....

What a great time to be a Minnesota sports fan. The Vikings have won their last 7 games. To put that into some perspective, the last time the Vikings lost a game was right around the time that..... Uh oh, Eddie gives up a two bagger to Boone...runners on second and third with 47 year old Ruben Sierra coming up to the dish as the tying run.

Back to the Vikes...so they are 4-0 with Vick-less Atlanta up next. Who in their right mind would have predicted the 2003 Minnesota Vikings to be 5-0? Probably the same guy that would have predicted Gus Frerotte tossing 3 TD's to Randy total this season.

TWINS WIN...TWINS WIN (I always get the old Harey Carey accent in my head when I type stuff like that...or at least the Will Ferrell impression of Harry Carey)

So the Twins go into the Bronx and with no regard for baseball history (or economics) take down the mighty Yanks in game 1. Now the home field is all about the Dome and it's gonna be rocking there.

The 16th ranked Gophers move to 1-0 as the Big Ten opens play....don't even try to tell me they are 4-0 or 5-0 or whatever, those games count as much as when Proctor's Varsity runs plays against the 9th graders. I ain't gonna lie to you here, I badmouth the Gophers program as often as possible, BUT with a win over Jo-Pa and the Nitty' Lions, I will eat my words and at least not wear my Michigan hat for a month (or until the Wolverines pummell the Gophers in mid-october).

And how about all the hype for the upcoming Wild and Wolves seasons? Can't wait, gonna be a good winter too.

So folks, clear your schedules for this weekend cause as a Minnesota sports fan you have an obligation to watch the Gophers on Saturday as they head down to Illinois to take on the "NSIC caliber" Northwestern Wildcats...11am central on the deuce. Then there's a perfect nap break in there until the first pitch out east at the house built by a bunch of immigrents (or is that emmigrents? probably some of both) at 8 pm real time (that's eastern) on FOX. After sleeping in Sunday, the Vikings will battle the Falcons down in the A.T.L. at noon in Duluth, 1 at the game and something crazy like 9 am in Jackson Hole. After all of that, if you want a good laugh, check out the Redskins/Eagles on Sunday afternoon and have a good laugh while you think of me banging my head into a wall as I watch McSuck continue to do so.

It's Tuesday night so time for Headlines...ok, I'm gonna be like Leno...these are 100% stolen, I take credit for only the funny ones.

"With that much dope, our drug dog almost had a stroke" - A Jimmy Smith quote if I'd ever seen one.

"Brenda Warner wants Kurt traded. St. Louis hair-coloring outlets go into panic-mode." - The Association of St. Louie Lesbians will also lose a solid spokeswoman.

"Chaos theory reveals why buses never show up on time." - I believe this also has something to do with the Bears playcalling and execution.

"Stress may help you live longer. Bobby Knight expected to live forever." - Him along with Bill Cowher, John Gruden and Terrell Owens.

"Sabres sign deal with Satan." - And all this time I thought it was the Yankees, Lakers and that one guy on Will and Grace..

"Six-foot Mr. Potato Head recovered. He's a little ripped and mashed, but is expected to make a full recovery." - On a related note, Mr. Head is retiring from the NFL after deciding he is not cut out for it.

"More Americans dislike golf and boxing more than they hate soccer." - Boy, not me.

So I suppose I can talk about some fantasy ball at this point.

As for the BIGFFBL....

Smitty puts up 175. In just this week. Amazing numbers almost all the way around from The Rocky Mountain Oysters except for Willie "A-Train II" Green. With a 6-pack of TD's from the QB postion and almost 200 from just one RB Smith had a good start, but add in 4 TD's from just the WR's and TE and you have a good week. Just for the record, here was his starting lineup this week....

Peyton - 48
LT - 39
Willie Green - 8
Chad Johnson - 21
A. Boldin - 15
Pollard - 10
Vanderjagt - 15
Indy's D - 19
Total - 175 (old record 165)

(FYI - The best day of Peyton Manning's life was Monday, September 29th.  It is all downhill from there for him)

And who was he playing....yep, although the odds of this happening should only be 1 out of 11, it always seems to be Jugsie on the short end of the stick in these situations. A 95 point week for Jugs and another L sends him to 1-3 while scoring the following (109, 123, 117, 95)....ouch.

Other BIG News....Nookie and Wonger are both handed their first L of the year and that leaves Juice as the only BIG team to reach the 4-0 plateau in 2003. Nice work to the man on sabbatical.

Notable point #1....there have been no trades yet this year. Not even by Mike.

Notable point #2....the leader of the Bison division is at 2-2

Notable point #3....that leader is Mike (the apocolypse may be upon us)

Notable point #4....Jugs is still the 99% favorite to win this division.

Looking ahead....the first trio of divisional games is coming up in weeks 5-7. Juice will face Smitty in week 7 and Nookie will face Wong in week 6. These will be the 2 biggest matches of the next couple weeks.

And to the F**kers....

Conspiracy Theory? In week 3 Long's opponent scored 22 and 69 points. In week 4 there's some questions as to the commish's integrity, or to put it bluntly...did Longsie cheat? I'll do my analysis here. (my biggest assumption is that Frerotte was picked up fair and square) His options at QB were, 1) Matt "I'm good but on a bye this week" Hasselbeck, 2) Mark "Thank god I'm injured" Brunell and 3) Gus "I'm ready to play...today, coach" Frerotte. Hasselbeck may have been the smart move after seeing McNabb and Bledsoe put up negative numbers in previous weeks but after Long realized he is not me, he then checked option 2. Brunell was obviously NOT playing. Anyone who thought that Mark would be holding a clipboard and Leftwich would not be introduced to the NFL against a "cake" Houston (they are not that good...I mean Houston, and Jax too I guess) is not too quick upstairs. So that leaves Gusto Headbutt Frerotte. Playing at home and having some mean weapons at his disposal makes Gus the obvious start for Long. Plus, PK could not have said it better. LONG DOESN'T CHEAT. Ok, enough of that.

As for other FFL thoughts....

Heggen, you lucky SOB. Look at this "division". My team is the second high scorer...that should tell you something.

I'm gonna keep saying it till it happens....Wicklund is pulling a Nick Bakay - living the dream. Freddy is still running without a limp and somehow his Three Stooges QB's have done enough to keep the "Swimmers" in the playoff hunt after 4 weeks.

If it were not for S.Davis and Starvin Marvin, PK would possibly have the ugliest team I've seen in quite a while. (don't worry PK, alphabetically your team comes before mine....)

Watch out for Kournikova with Jimmy "Smoke and a Pancake" Smith back in the lineup...just one concern...why 3 D's on the roster?

Packers Suck (and yes they do, which should tell you something about the Bank One Martians) must be happy to see Gannon's hibernation over, but that stable of RB's is just ugly.

Finally....The Hos, still riding McNair and Priest, will probably hang on to the top world rank, but the undefeated season has been ended.

Wonger has not checked in for the week, so no comments from him.

(Pause for applause)

Wait, here he is....

A few comments - And TEQ's responses

After watching the recent aerial performances of our Rails and Vikings this 
past weekend, I became a little sentimental and started thinking back to '98 
when we had Carlson to King and Cunningham to Moss. As Bruce Springsteen 
says, those were the "Glory Days" - Amen.

So the Vikings are 4-0 after destroying the 49ers. They should run over the 
Falcons, especially if they don't have Mike Vick. The 49ers remind me of the 
Vikings at the end of the Denny Green era. But I want to know if anyone 
actually buying the new "low-key" Randy Moss? And I have to actually 
contemplate if Mike Tice is actually a descent coach with the "Duh" offense. - I think Moss just was too tired from all the running and didn't have any energy to talk. On the other hand, TO had lots of energy and instead of using it on the field in any kind of constructive way, he verbally berated the guy that determines the plays that determine who gets the ball. Wrong guy to piss off if you ask me (since he - the O-coordinator - probably knows he's getting canned soon anyway).

What about the Twins chances against the mighty Yankees? I think it all 
comes down to pitching, if they can do that, then the Twins have a chance. - Chance....heck, if I was managing a Home Depot down there, I'd make sure there were plenty of brooms in stock for Saturday if you know what I mean.

Most absurd thing I've heard this week: A recent study done in Europe saying 
that monkeys know more about fairness than humans do. Fairness is a 
subjective term in the human race. So if monkeys instinctively don't know 
what is fair, how do they know? Sounds like a Planet of the Apes story to 
me. - Key word in all that garble was "Europe".

Close second: My dad told me this week that one of the Duluth Mayoral 
candidates, Charle Bell, said he's going to streamline the city government. 
If this is true, then it's an excess of honesty. - Charlie is a great guy (I have had dinner with him more than once down at the Masonic Lodge), and for those of you out there that are eligible Duluth voters I urge you to vote for Bell, but political promises have about as much truth to them as anything coming out of Mike Shanahan's mouth at halftime.

Some interesting quotes you can think about this week:

"The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life." (my 
brain hurts after this one). - Ow.

"The greatest thing since sliced bread. " (so this is it huh folks?) - Slightly confused as to why this was here.

"More than happy" ( I always wondered about this, I think this is a real bad 
mental condition) - More than happy...just think Warren from Something About Mary.

That's all this week. - That's all from me too....

(Pause for applause)

Need I say more?

BIGFFBL senior writer Jeremy Carlson (TEQ) sounds off whenever he feels like it on www.bigffbl.com