Trying out my
sea arm....But you ain't got no arm Mr. Jackson...From the healthy, Norton virus protected notebook of your commish. Tuesday September 16th, 2008 8:01 PM Rambling after Week 2... These Ramblings are the first from the regular "Tuesday Evening Ramblings" series - 2008 edition. What a week in the NFL. From the Vikings showing us yet another way to lose to the Broncos showing us an exciting way to win (I hope the Broncos fans have to pay more for their tickets than the Vikings fans....cause they got WAY more entertainment in their 3 hours) For the Broncos - how about that game? Easy Eddie "Guns" made a horrible call on that fumble/incomplete pass....and then Shanny made a great call in going for 2. I'm surprised you don't see more teams follow that strategy - and why not? As long as the NFL sticks with the "sudden death" format, why not take your shot from the 3 rather than go with the fate of a coin flip and then a long field? Is it just me, or are the commercial writers finally coming back with some good material? I was a bit disappointed at the Super Bowl ads last year (or technically this year). That could have been moreso on who was spending the money for the timeslot (too many movies and soon-to-be bankrupt internet businesses). Neverless....even the beer commercials were not as good as in the past. I was concerned for the future of our country (well, I am anyway and maybe more on that later if I can't put it out of my mind) because what kind of life will we have iif our television ad writers are unable to motivate us to get off our lazy rear ends and buy some useless Far Eastern made crap at our local, well paying, family run, SuperBigMart? But wait.....there is hope! No, not Hussein (that son of a hippie mother) Obama or Sarah Palin/Fey or even Albert Franken....no, those ad writers are thinking outside the box (or maybe inside the shoe box) and putting together the likes of a couple guys that have truly changed my life. No, not Ben and Jerry (mmmm....ice cream) or even Selmer and Hjalmer (it rhymes if you know how to pronounce them correctly). No, I'm talking about Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates. Great commercial with a few great lines - especially the following exchange as Bill is trying on a shoe..... Jerry - "Is that your toe?" Along with that ad (which is sure to continue as a series of ads with the finale during the Super Bowl....all I can say is those 2 guys, Usain Bolt, Jennifer Nettles, a deserted island and Michael Jackson's talking monkey....awesome) is the series of E-Trade commercials with the baby who can "talk". I like the one with Bobo the clown.....definite creepy factor. Good stuff. In the world of football......the Vikings. We had some tickets for Sunday through the business (don't ever say that spending a couple million dollars a year on processed gray rock dust doesn't pay off) and I declined to go in order to let some of our customers go. I was happy with that decision after spending the afternoon on my couch watching Tav and Co drop the ball once again (I guess that one was metaphorically, but in some cases it has been literally so I should be distinct.) Seriously, to those of you who still may recall some of the PHS playbook.....they ran Proctor Pass (specifically, fake 43 dive, Proctor Pass Right) about 6 or 8 times. Great play in high school as a change of pace from the wishbone.....not so great a play as your bread and butter pass play. They also ran some "split right, black right" and "split right, fade". The key moment was when he hit Berrian in stride for a first down and Jon got a little excited saying something like, "hey, that wasn't too bad". We both pretty much at the same time realized how sad it is when you're excited because your PRO quarterback just hit a 6'5" receiver on a 8 yard slant in stride. Not good. Not good at all. My thoughts --- if Childress wants to keep his job, he might want to think about introducing Mr. Jackson to the sport of dog fighting and just let nature take its natural path from there. Or just bench him for, I don't know, anyone. Garcia, Frerotte, George, Mitchell, Brady (injured is fine) or even Unitas (if he's still out there somewhere). Tav is gonna be just good enough every other week to keep his job.....but I hope I'm wrong.
Forrest Gump: Lieutenant
Dan, what are you doing here? How about Tina Fey as Sarah Palin? Spot on as the Brits might say - jolly well done. I'd shag her in the boot. Ok - enough of that. A sign of my (our) generation is that when I think of George HW Bush - I think Dana Carvey, or Darrell Hammond for Bill Clinton. But they both looked different enough that I still can think of what the actual Presidents looked like. With the Tina/Sarah separated at birth twins, it would be hard to keep that line of reality from blurring right over - just for that, I hope McCain/Palin win and Tina returns to SNL (I think she would have to....Lorne couldn't pass up the crazy ratings he'd get). Before I Ramble on too long.....let's move to the B I G. Well.....let's start off with me. Maddenthias got me this week. I put myself up on a pedestal with the predictions last week and next thing I knew, a hurricane blew into Texas and caused my team to go without a TE for the week. No big deal - and Brandon Marshall and company put up a nice 118 points - a 65 or 70 point lead going into Monday night against the Little Bastard from downstairs. Then, after the longest day of work I've ever had at the old concrete factory, I come home to check the box score and see that Jon's big 3 of TO, Westbrook and McSUCK (that guy just keeps screwing me) put up something like 6 TDs and 2 points more than they actually needed to beat me. Resulting in a 120-118 LB's win. Fits in with all the rest of the week 2 excitement - but not in the way I was looking for. I still say this was a BIG championship preview....but not the result I was looking for. Ok fine Kinger - you showed me. You must have cut out my comments from last week and put them on the board to motivate the boys. Well, you got your receivers motivated anyway. Boldin and Jennings looked good, Witten did his part and that was enough to get it done. BUT, let's not lose focus that your RB's had a total of 7 points. So, for now, let's say you stole this one from Smitty and are still heading in the direction of the toilet. As for Smitty - LJ and Hasselbeck need to do SOMETHING, but all is ok, your cousin Steve will be back next week to help out the home team....assuming no one else from the team gets arrested over the weekend (like the owner -- remember, don't touch the girls and you'll be ok). How the heck are the Fish 2-0? Well, least points against helps for sure. Week 2 saw Suomala get a total of 48 out of his QB, RBs, and WRs. That's not good. Luckily, he was up against Juice who hasn't woken up the big LT yet and even put him on the trade block. So far no one has bitten - but I think with some patience, Juice can still have a positive season. I feel that Suomala's team is a bit heavy in wins so far and Juice a bit heavy in losses. Juice will next see Kinger and Suomala will take on the Izzards. Team Nookie saw a little production from his stud RB's (Barber and Addai) this week and there will be more where that came from the rest of this year. Barber should be in the top 3 scoring RBs this year and Addai, although not as high scoring, will be top 10. In week 2 Nookie beat our Fantasy Superior. That puts Jugs at 0-2 and in a bit of a tough spot. We've noted in this column in the past that Jugs is typically one of the most consistent scorers in our league. Well, if that is the case this year, Jugs is in trouble. He was pretty consistent in weeks 1 and 2 with a couple of low 80's on the board. He'll need Braylon and Shockey to start producing, otherwise, it could be Jugs' worst year in about the last 5 seasons. Mike's guys take a loss to Jonny's Tang in week 2. I think the "X"-Jax name must be a bit bad luck this year with Tav and Steve not starting out strong at all. I would hope that a player that holds out would show up and play out of his mind - but over and over again it seems to go the other way. Then again, the Rams just are not very good anymore. Martz, like him or not, is definitely long gone from the Ed Jones. Tang just need some receiver points and Jonny will be in good shape. AP and McFadden, along with Portis give Jonny perhaps the best depth at RB in the league. We'll see how good this team is in week 3 as the defending champ, 2-0 Little Bastards come to town. Finally....the Donkeys sneak one out over the Brady-less wIZards in a battle of a couple not so strong teams. Not that Scottie's team is bad - it's just not very good without Tom Brady. A tough week for WoJo with having to use not 1, but 2 free agents in trying to get a starting QB for the week. (thank you again to Mr. Ike). Jason, who got the win, got a total of 7 points out of his 4 receivers....no, not 7 per, 7 total. Compare that to Air JC, who had 100 between Wayne, Marshall, Muhammed and Calvin J. Needless to say (and I believe Jason mentioned it at work on Monday), he needs a WR (or two). The Donkeys get a chance to put Jugs in an 0-3 hole while the wIZards get to try and give the Fish their first loss in week 3. Hey, why not.....IF THE PLAYOFFS WERE TODAY-AY-AY-AY......
Anywho, good luck all in week 3 (except for Nookie and the rest of the Bison of course). Final note of the week - Smitty's bachelor party - Saturday starting at Grandview Golf Course and continuing on late into the evening. Consider yourselves invited and let Juice know if you're gonna show. It'll be a good time.....guaranteed. Need I say more? BIGFFBL senior writer Jeremy Carlson sounds off whenever he feels like it on www.bigffbl.com |