Krajewski and Carlson, not so much...

From the healthy, Norton virus protected notebook of your commish.  Tuesday September 5th, 2006 9:05 PM

Rambling before Week 1...

Well....here we are, bathing in the pre-dawn light that is the final 48 hours before NFL 2006 - week 1.  For the new guys, is it the beginning of a sensational rookie surprise season led by a 6-5, 230-pound quarterback with a laser rocket arm?  (if you like that kind of thing of course)  Or maybe by the most hyped rookie RB in quite a while?  For the league vets, will this year be the year for those without a title, or maybe one of the others will add another trophy to the case.  Maybe that's why we all love it so much....just like the dawn of day, all the potential in the world still exists.  Then again, like Curly said in City Slickers when asked if he'd killed anyone on that particular day, "the day ain't over yet".

So what happens when two guys get into a canoe and realize that they are sitting facing each other?  Easy.  They both in short order get wet.  *Note....I do not think it is possible to be in a canoe with Juice and have him attempt to turn around in his seat without being tipped.  Yea, I know, hard to believe, especially for those of you who have seen his skillz on the Krebs family jet ski.  Anyway, the positive part of falling into a lake fully clothed was that it was only in a foot or so of water, so no drownings were recorded that day.  Was I nervous the rest of the way.....yes.  Did we tip out any other times....no.  In fact, we caught a bunch of smallmouth bass and got them on the stringer all the while keeping the boat right side up.

As a sidenote, I am typing this as I half watch an ABC Primetime special called "Outsiders".  They are discussing swingers, asexuals, strippers and incest.  Interesting.....strange.....goofy all at once, but hard to turn away I guess.  Sex (as goofy as it can sometimes be) once again does sell.

Anyway, let's continue to introduce Kinger and Scottie to this league.  Here are 10 things that can be counted on happening every single year.

10.  Mike will change his team name.  Sadida's 21ers, The Pelthunters, Inside Straights, Three Dog Night and Drunken Sailors.  All the names, still no titles.

9.  Smith will make a huge free agent pickup.  I'm starting to wonder if the league's computer guy has coded some sort of macro that sorts through the database of available NFL players and compares their positive attributes versus their future potential while using a number of abstract variables to control the unforeseen circumstances.....wait, that sounds like something I would do.

8.  Suomala will go about his season very quietly.  He will not post to the message board.  He will not respond to the crazy emails that will fly.  No one will mind that he is seemingly just hanging out there in space somewhere near the planet Pluto....or whatever Pluto is considered now.

7.  JC will pick up via free agency or trade one of the following: Eddie George, Donovan McNabb or Aaron Brooks, and then will write emails and Ramblings about how stupid his is to once again take once of those idiots......wait, dammit, I ALREADY have Brooks.

6.  Jugs will bring up on the message board some proposed rule change in about mid October that will be discussed with passion by about a third of the league for the next 3 weeks.  After that, the league will forget all about it and move on to more important things such as how bad Hermantown will get their asses kicked by Proctor in the playoffs.

5.  Jonny will have his season rise and fall with the play of his quarterbacks.  In the past it was either Gannon or Culpepper.  This year it will be either Trent Green, Bledsoe or Carr -- this should be a long, long season for Jonny.

4.  Nookie will lose over half his roster to injuries somewhere by the end of week 2.  He will become very pissy when asked anything about his team, especially the weeks where he starts Michael Vick but Michael Vick doesn't start.

3.  Jason will start out the season with a couple of wins against the new guys, then a couple losses against the vets.  From there on out, he'll go W, L, W, L, W, L, W, L ......(you get the idea - and if you don't, take a peek at his previous seasons and career record)

2.  Juice will make a high end trade.  Well, high end for whoever is on the other end of the trade.  Let's see....off of Juice's roster this year he's got LT again.  And, uh oh, I can see it already, a trade between Juice and Air JC for McNabb being finalized over $1 beers at Applebee's.

1.  The LB's will continue to remind us all that he has 2 BIG Titles and the best career record out of all of us.  He's right, and looking at his lineup this year, he might just pull away from the pack.

Twins are looking good....White Sox and Tigers lose, Twins win - Santana is the man.....keep on rolling boys.  8 innings, 12 K's, 1 BB, 2 hits, 95 pitches.  Was that a 'Cy Young' I heard from the back?  And the M and M's?  Who gets the MVP between those two?  I don't know about you, but I'm gonna dust off the old (19 year old) Homer Hanky for the stretch run.

As for the BIG, good luck all in week 1 (except for Scottie and the rest of the Bison of course).

Also, Proctor/Hermantown 2006 is on Friday.  I'm not sure where, but I'd think I'll see a few of you there.  (note Proctor is coming off a opening win against Mora while Hermantown was shut out in week 1 by the Central Trojans).

As a final note....heaven does exist, and it is found a mere 200 miles away from my front door.  It does not have electricity, nor can it be driven to directly with an automobile -- and internet, HA.  What it does have is good folks, fish, food and fun.  Some of you have been....those of you that have not, maybe someday you'll get to the Manitou.

Need I say more?

BIGFFBL senior writer Jeremy Carlson sounds off whenever he feels like it on www.bigffbl.com