Yes, to the "New Guys"...

From the healthy, Norton virus protected notebook of your commish.  Tuesday August 29th, 2006 8:32 PM

Rambling after the 2006 BIG Draft...

Gentlemen.....It is now officially the BIG's PWE (Post-Wong Era).  Might this be referred to down the road as the defining season between the pre and post-modern era of our league - that remains to be determined, but a major change has occurred none the less.

So our two new guys.  They'll go through the usual league hazing of having to bring the senior members donuts and beer along with taking tons and tons of crap about seemingly minor screw ups and insignificant issues as the rest of us see fit --- oh wait, that's how we treat everyone in the league.

Let's do a little introduction for the new guys - and the old guys - to make sure everyone knows who everyone is (oh, as an added bonus, most of this stuff will actually be true too).

Name: New Guy #1, aka: Scott Wojtysiajskiantioanskunkiak (or something like that).
Occupation: Insurance guy in Cloquet -- tell him I referred you (not Ben)
Team: "WoJo"
Age: 23ish
Hometown: Proctor - '01
Favorite Past time: Missing golfing, barbeque and fantasy drafts
Lifetime Goal: Meeting Conan O'Brien at the Olive Garden for salad and breadsticks
Best known for: His future sister in law.

Name: New Guy #2, aka: Jack King....Kinger....or Fast Guy
Occupation: Speech Pathologist -- moving back to work in Duluth
Team: "Team Kinger"
Age: 26 for a couple more weeks
Hometown: Proctor - '98
Favorite Past time: Fishing, snowmobiling, working out and NOT hanging out at Stargate.
Lifetime Goal: Buying Jamie Presley a whipped cream swimsuit.
Best known for: His ridiculous abilities in running away from people chasing him.

Name: Jeremy Carlson, aka: JC, Jermey, Jer, Hey You, Commish, etc.
Occupation: Deputy Chief of Staff - Arrowhead Concrete
Team: "Air JC"
Age: 26 for a couple more weeks
Hometown: Proctor - '98
Favorite Past time: Centerstage at Bellagio - or anywhere on the Manitou
Lifetime Goal: Removing Jamie Presley's whipped cream swimsuit.
Best known for: His abilities in the nerdery.

Name: Jon Suomala, aka: Suomala, Jon -- ok, well, no real nicknames for him
Occupation: Civil Engineer for the Wyoming DOT in Jackson Hole, WY -- (yea, I know, rough)
Team: "The Flying Hellfish"
Age: 26
Hometown: Proctor - '98
Favorite Past time: Rubbing elbows with the Billionaire neighbors of his
Lifetime Goal: Winning the Jacobsen Open and taking home the "Little Brown Jug"
Best known for: His wife's ability to schedule major family happenings on fantasy draft weekend.

Name: Mike Vanneste, aka: Mike, Mikey, Vanneste
Occupation: Hmmm.....something to do with repair of office electronics I think....Mike, am I right?
Team: "Drunken Sailors"
Age: 26
Hometown: Proctor - '98
Favorite Past time: Eating excellent dinners prepared by his wonderful wife (I've only heard)
Lifetime Goal: Winning a BIGFFBL championship and rubbing it in our faces.
Best known for: How well he takes all the crap we give him in the league.

Name: Paul Jugasek, aka: Jugs, Paul, Jugasek
Occupation: Your friendly league Menards employee.  Hermantown store.
Team: "Fantasy Superior"
Age: 26
Hometown: Proctor - '98
Favorite Past time: Ripping on those of us who choose to draft our teams without following his plan.
Lifetime Goal: Becoming the founder and commissioner of the World Dart League.
Best known for: His drafting card table, chair and lack of computer use during our 9 fantasy drafts.

Name: Kyle Jonland, aka: Jonny, Kyle, Jonland, Kori's Brother, etc.
Occupation: The League Electrician - working down in the cities.
Team: "Team Tang" --- (no, not the orange drink)
Age: 26
Hometown: Proctor - '98
Favorite Past time: Chasing around his little one.....and the wife too I would think.
Lifetime Goal: Actually attending in person a BIGFFBL fantasy draft.
Best known for: Figuring out each year how to let Jen allow him to participate in this league.

Name: Ben Carlson, aka: Big Ben.  Yea, that's it.
Occupation: Deputy - Deputy Chief of Staff @ Arrowhead Concrete
Team: "Team Nookie"  -- yea, THAT nookie.
Age: 23
Hometown: Proctor - '01
Favorite Past time: Myspace....and Myspace.....and, well, the girls he meets on Myspace
Lifetime Goal: Hooking up with one of the 17 year olds he meets at WeFest
Best known for: His extremely cheery attitude at each and every BIG fantasy draft.

Name: Eric Smith, aka: Smitty, Smut Dog and Smith
Occupation: Computer guy formerly for Wells Fargo, currently for someone else I don't remember.
Team: "Fat British Pigeons"
Age: 26
Hometown: Proctor - '98
Favorite Past time: SQL, PHP3, JAVA and the occasional HTML.
Lifetime Goal: Sarah Jacobson (if you saw her on Saturday night, she would be each of our goals)
Best known for: His ability to talk his way into a great deal on a pizza delivery.

Name: Jason Carlson, aka: Jason  (yea, that's it)
Occupation: Crown Prince of Brenny-Dahl Block Co. - Cloquet, MN
Team: "Little Red Horse"
Age: 32?
Hometown: The City that will not be named - '93?
Favorite Past time: Attempting to rip on anything relating to Proctor
Lifetime Goal: Becoming as cool as Ben.
Best known for: His generous hair line - or his league seniority status - or his "little" guy Wyatt.

Name: Ryan Krajewski, aka: Juice, Mr. K.
Occupation: Team Leader at Woodland Hills in Duluth - aka: Whip Cracker for the ill-tempered.
Team: "I Bounce the ball and JC is gonna change my team name if I don't this year"
Age: 26
Hometown: Proctor - '98
Favorite Past time: Requesting, nea, demanding shrubberies from dumbstruck co-workers.
Lifetime Goal: Making a full season without trading away the best player on his team for peanuts.
Best known for: His getting smacked in the face with a stick during the Deaflympics in Sweden.

Name: Jon Carlson, aka: Jonny, Jonny C, Jon, Little Guy, "That Guy"
Occupation: Concrete Truck Driver for Lakehead Concrete - UMD student
Team: "Little Bastards"
Age: 21
Hometown: Proctor - '03
Favorite Past time: Having Friday/Saturday night sleepovers with local grocery store employees.
Lifetime Goal: Having his body accept the donor organs from his older brother
Best known for: His ability on the dance floor to both look good and like an idiot, just seconds apart

So there it is boys....hope you learned something.

My quick hit notes for the week....

1 - Best way to get a free flight back to the US, apparently just admit to killing Jon Benet Ramsey.  Sure worked for that weird dude.

2 - Kyle Underwood is flipping HUGE.  He was in the office today a couple times.....just plain big.

3 - Over/Under on number of issues of the Wong Report we can expect -- I'll put it at 8 during the regular season.

4 - Vikings will have a tough year.....good news for Vikes fans though, there's no way the Pack should finish ahead of us.

5 - Labor Day coming up - I'm heading to the Manitou - Life is good.

6 - Proctor v. Hermantown coming up in about 10 days, not sure where but I'll be there.  Can't miss that one.

Heads up that the NFL season opens only a week from Thursday with the Dolphins traveling to Pittsburgh.  Danute vs. the Champs.  Should be a good one.  Smitty should be getting the site loaded up with rosters and the correct schedule, so please ask any questions on getting starters set for the strange week 1 schedule.

Enjoy the Holiday - and the weather.  See you next week.

Need I say more?

BIGFFBL senior writer Jeremy Carlson sounds off whenever he feels like it on www.bigffbl.com